


You cannot go home (you can always come home)

by AquaMom



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, I Tried, Kaldur'bomb, When you do a prompt but it turns out to be more than that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 10:41:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17641229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AquaMom/pseuds/AquaMom
Summary: Takes place partially during and after season two but before season three.  Kaldur's unsure of what to make of his family or of his parents.





	You cannot go home (you can always come home)

**Author's Note:**

> This is for the Kaldur'Bomb! My prompt (which I more or less kept to) was: How was his relationship with his parents affected by his time undercover? And where/with whom does he live now?

 

 

* * *

 

His throat tightens. It had been better to not contact them at all while he was deep undercover, but this was rare. A rare accident and chance that happened while he was doing a solo scouting mission for his father.

It shouldn't have happened, and yet...

"Black Manta." His fa-no.. Calvin Durham who was not his father but had raised him, spoke with venom laced words. It almost made him wonder if the man could tell the difference in body build from his father.

He hesitates.

He knew he should just turn around and leave; to pretend he never saw them. Just report back to his father about his findings of the area and move on to another mission that the Light would inevitably hand him and his father to do. Then life would go on in a precarious balance until he could finish being a mole.

But life doesn't work like that. Calvin Durham may be retired from being a soldier, but he still holds an edge to him as he launches himself through the water at him. He had not wanted to fight. Gods knows he did not want to hurt either of them any more than he must, but instinct and training overrides him as he instinctively pulled his hands up to defend himself. He reaches for the bearers' handles but stops short.

It was all Calvin Durham needed to smash him right into a rock formation with as much strength as he could bear. It hurt. It hurts a lot and before he could get his wits about him, the man was wailing on him with fists clenched so tightly blood began to seep into the water.

He barely could make out what the other man was yelling out.

"Where. Is. My. Son?" Calvin's eyes widen, " You- You blackmailed him, didn't you? You had to ruin him just like-!"

"Calvin, stop!"

Suddenly, the man's gone and Kaldur can get his head clear, even though his heart thuds loudly in his chest. Everything in him is screaming he should go. She'll find out. She'll -know- and he can't... he can't lie to her.

Of everyone in the sea and land, Sha'lain'a of Shayeris, his mother, is someone that he could never fool. She always knew.

"Why did you stop me, Shala?" Calvin doesn't seem like he's ready to give up, "That bastard has done something to our son! Kaldur'ahm would have never done any of those things they're saying!"

"That man," Sha'lain'a says gently as she unclips the helmet with an expert hand- how many times has she done this?- then removes it, "Is our son, Calvin."

Calvin's dark brown eyes widens in surprise and shock to see he's attacked the very son he sought to protect. "God forgive me, Kaldur'ahm!"

He swims to his side, " My boy, forgive me." Even as he says this, Kaldur could see he's torn. There's relief but also uncertainty. "I didn't know-"

Kaldur opens his mouth to try and reassure him but instead he looks away, unable to meet his gaze.

He feels, rather than hears, Calvin exhale, "Tell me, Kaldur'ahm, that they are wrong."  

Silence.

"They must be!  You would never do anything to hurt others so, I know you. I know you're a good man and your were a good boy as a child. That-"

"You hid the truth from me." Kaldur felt the words slip out, they were a mix of true feeling and his vain efforts to drive the pair off.  He has to keep character. He has to keep himself firmly in this role. He cannot afford indulging in any hopes of theirs that he may still yet be on the side of the king.  Even though he is, he cannot seem to be.  His heart squeezed a bit, at least it felt like it, watching Calvin's face.  Seeing the usually caring and yet stern man lose a light in his eyes.   

It is for the best.

"You hid who my father truly was!" Kaldur's voice gain strength as he pushes Calvin away from him, moving further from them. "Did you think I would never find out? That you and that selfish _murderer_ kept this secret from me?"   He's not sure how much of it is a true feeling or not.  "How could you let him of all people tell me what _you_ should've done a long time ago?" His eyes narrows at them, "How could you let me fight my own father? How could you betray him?"

Anger blossoms across Calvin's face, "He's a monster, Kaldur'ahm! He was willing to murder not only the king's family but the entire kingdom! Every man, woman and child!  We couldn't allow it to happen.  We- I couldn't stand by and watch him slaughter innocents!"    A memory seems to take hold of Calvin, as if he were no longer truly there.  "The attack of one of the kingdom's outpost villages was enough to dry any thirst for blood or land from me."  he blinks, banishing the horrid memory back to the depths in which it came from. "I would've thought it would do the same for you- that you didn't do any of this of your free will."

Desperate, perhaps, Calvin reaches out to him, " You may not have been my son in blood, but I raised you as my own, Kaldur'ahm, I loved you just as much as one.  Please, son, just come with us. I'm sure that Aquaman would give you the benefit of the doubt.  That all your transgressions would be forgive."   He looks over  at his wife, "Sha'la, please, talk sense into him. He can't go back to David."

It's only then that it strikes Kaldur as strange that his mother hadn't spoken since she removed his helmet. In fact, the entire exchange, Sha'lain'a had been silent.  Her dark tawny brown eyes show nothing but concern for him.  Even now, years later and so deep undercover, he could never read her well enough.  Still, he waits for her to plead with him as Calvin had. For her to denounce him for siding with Black Manta.  For her to push him aside as he knew what it looks like. Speculated on what their lives must be like in Shayeris now that he's a known traitor.

All the while, Kaldur maintains his blank and somewhat angry expression. Underneath, he feels his heart beat even harder than when he's running from explosions.  Harder than any battle- his heart beats with fear.   Despite everything, he had not wanted to be rejected by his mother.  He loved her.  He loved Calvin too, and it tore him up inside more than he'd like to admit.  he longs to tell them the truth- the truth that he's still a good son. He's still that good child that went with Aquaman and became his protege. That he still believes in justice and-

Instead, his mother moves over.  Hands him back his helmet.  She turns to Calvin, settling a hand on his shoulder, startling the man.  

"Let us go."  Was all she said.

"But- Sha'lain'a!"  Calvin looks back at Kaldur.  "Come with us, please.  Black Manta cares about no one but himself. You have to see that, Kaldur'ahm."

It feels like he can't breathe. It feels like someone has slammed their fist into his gills with how tight his throat felt and grips his heart like a vice.  He couldn't move.  Couldn't speak.  Why?  Why didn't she say anything? What- ?

He forces himself, however, to put his helmet back on and to speak as coldly as he could muster to his step-father. 

"Black Manta's been the father I had dreamed of as a child. He will not fail me- as you had, Calvin Durham."

These words felt like poison in his mouth.  Choking whatever was true of him down as he leaves the stunned man there. 

He has a mission to complete.

* * *

 

 

That was months ago.  A lifetime ago. It feels like another reality has slipped in without anyone truly noticing it happening.  Six months? Or was it a year? How did time work again, anyway? 

It didn't truly matter, at the end.  The plan had been successful, even though they had lost yet another member of their founding team.  It's a loss they all keenly felt and it deserved at least a moment of grief to settle in.  All had been revealed, he had been given back his old title of Aqualad, his name and reputation cleared for all to see.  In Atlantis, though weary, many exalted him as a hero of heroes who did it all in the name of the king and kingdom having brought down one of their most deadly of foes. 

Yet, that meant nothing.

The real test of it all is seeing his parents again after everything was over.  The words from that long ago still rang in his ears and replays in his memories when he has space enough to think.  He had put off coming home to Shayeris for almost a month afterwards, feeling more comfortable on the land, rather than going back to see them.  It's childish, no doubt about it.  A small futile gesture of a child that knew trouble's coming his way and can't avoid it.  The consequences of what he's said.

Still, in Shayeris, Kaldur returns to his childhood home. 

They're there, waiting for him. It feels awkward.  He's not even certain what to say to them.  If only...

"Kaldur'ahm." His mother took his hands into her own.  They seem smaller in comparison now. "You look thin." Her hand moves to his right cheek. "So thin and tired.  Come in, child, you must be famished."

It startles him.  This- he had not expected this. "Mother-"

"Listen to your mother, son." Calvin says, "Go on in."

What- ?

It's so _surreal_. 

They're gathered around now, eating a meal that had been his favorite as a child. His mother telling a story about what happened at her job or something at the market.  His step-father commenting and telling jokes that even got a surprising laugh from himself.  He's not even sure how to read any of this.  What's he suppose to do here? It's radically different than what he'd imagine before. 

Finally, a lull in the conversation, and Sha'lain'a looks over at him more seriously as she took his hands into her own once more. 

"We're proud of you, Kaldur'ahm."   

His heart stopped for a moment at that.  He's not sure why, but he didn't think they would be. Or maybe, he just couldn't imagine them actually saying it.

"We're proud of you." She says again, holding firm his hands in her own.  He could feel the strength within them. "We know you had to do what you must in order to take down such an organization.  That you had to fool all in order for it to work.  What you did, my child, is impossibly brave and hard."

"But-"  He looks down, "I don't feel like it was.  Brave, that is.  I merely did what must be done."

He feels Calvin's hand on his shoulder, " It's not easy fooling the people you love and respect most.  We know this, Kaldur'ahm. It weighs heavily on the heart and soul."

"How?" The word slips out before he could stop himself. Kaldur rarely questioned them in such a way, and yet he couldn't stop himself from doing so.  "I'm not sure I understand."

The pair exchange glances before Sha'lain'a says, "We understand because that is what we had to do when we realized your father's ambitions in the end."   Her hands seem to tighten.  Kaldur sense, rather than saw, that this was going to be a very personal conversation.  "In the time you've spent with him, you understand, don't you, my child?  What he's like?"

"He's had a noble side." Kaldur answers then looks up at her, "I fear he truly cared for me, mother. I- "

"And you cared about him, I know." She smiles sadly.

"It's not a sin to love your father." Calvin added finally then sighs softly as he also moves to sit beside Sha'lain'a, "David has good in him. It's there, deep down, maybe, but it's there and he cares for those that are close to him."  

"but you said he cared for nothing but himself?"

"I know.  I meant to say that he's ultimately selfish but still does care for others he loves."  Calvin shifts uncomfortably.  "Your mother and I know that very well. We were both very close to him."

"A love of our lives."  Sha'lain'a adds almost absently, "If only that wickedness within him would leave, we could've been happy but..well.."  She shrugs finally letting him go, "It is why we understand you, Kaldur'ahm, more than most. We both had to work and betray your father to Aquaman to save this place.  We know what it's like to carry such a burden. So, please, know that whatever sorrows you have, you are safe here and can share them with us too."

"But they are my burdens to carry." Kaldur shies away from it, guilt swimming up, "I can't give them to you too. I'm not a child anymore."

"How does that matter?" Calvin raises a brow, "A burden is lighten if it's carried by many rather than one. Stop sacrificing yourself and your sanity for some phantom nobility that you think exists.  We're your parents, Kaldur, we're going to worry and want to help you.  And I'm certain your friends feel the same way.  It's called love. It works like that."

It's there.  He hadn't noticed it until now, but it's always been there building up slowly over the months, everything that's happened to him.  How he had to endure it, how he couldn't let it show exactly what he's felt in such a long time.

It came flooding out right then and there.  If he had been on land, his face would've been too hot, his eyes blurred by tears that would not stop.  The memories that he felt. The creatures he had to kill as collateral damage to everything he's set, even though he'd tried so hard to not hurt others, it was unavoidable in the service of the light. He's lost men.  Good men- but were they truly good or was it that he had bonded so much with them during his time with his father at?- that had fought and believed in his orders.  Men that died sometimes or were seriously injured because something else had happened. 

The stress of having to do all that, while trying not to feel affection for Black Manta. Knowing all that the man had done, and yet he still couldn't help it.  ("It's alright, son." Calvin had soothed, "It's hard not to feel something for someone that cares for you.")

All that to end with:

"I don't know if I can keep doing this." Kaldur confesses.  "I don't know if I can maintain any of this while doing my job. I don't know- Mother, I don't know what I'm to do now.  After this, I must return and take command again.  Evil does not rest."

Sha'lain'a only smiles softly, "I cannot answer that." She glances at Calvin, "and neither can he. It is up to you, my heart, to decide whether or not you wish to continue on this path.  It's your life, Kaldur'ahm, please do not forget that."

"Your mother's right." Calvin continues on where she left off, "If you feel that you've done your time and you're ready to leave, we're here for you. You can do whatever you wish. We won't judge you for it. We just want to see you happy."

It felt silly, but he felt like crying again. It's one thing to get support from his friends and the royal family. It's another when the people that raised him also showed support in what he'd like in his life. That unwavering support and love from them.  It made him realize that he needs that the most out of everything. It also makes him realize that deep down, in a part he wishes he didn't have, yet did.   

He wished his father, Black Manta, had also felt that way. 

"Come now," Sha'lain'a pats his cheek, "This is a time for relaxation and celebration!  You're victorious and you're home!"

"Indeed, I am." Kaldur smiles back, "I hope to consult you on something, father."  He sees the man perk up a bit. "I'm consider a home on land for a short time in New Venice until the revelries have calmed down enough so I can go without being accosted.  What do you think?"

"Depends on whether or not you're going to room with someone." Calvin settles, considering it, "Do you have a roommate?"

"I do."

Sha'lain'a, smirking, nudges her son, "Are they single?"

"Mother!"

"What?" Sha'lain'a gives a mock huff, "I'm just trying to look out for your best interest!"

Calvin snickers, " More like she's trying to drop hints that she's looking forward to helping you buy the courtship gifts and planning your marriage as well as picking out a baby crib."

"Calvin!" Flustered now, Sha'lain'a moves to clean up their dinner, "I'm not at all doing that. I'm just curious, now that most of the work is done, if Kaldur'ahm had..anyone special."

Despite the coolness of the waters, his face felt hot again from embarrassment as someone did pop into his mind just as he decides to banish it.   "I do have a roommate. His name is Koryak, he's from Alaska."

"Is he handsome?" Sha'lain'a grinned.

Just as flustered as his mother had been a few moments ago, Kaldur cleared his throat and looks away sheepishly, "Well, I have noticed he is quite good looking."

Calvin just laughs, " You've done it now, son. She's about to plan your entire love life."  He claps him on the back, "I've got some work to do. I'll see you later."

"You can't leave me." Kaldur gives him a semi-panicked look.

His step-father only grins before swimming off to his workroom.

"Oh now," Sha'lain'a smiles, "I won't terrorize you - too much."

Kaldur considers that maybe he should've just stayed with Will, instead.  Then quickly abandons that idea because it lead to other thoughts he'd rather not think about just yet.

"Now then," his mother was saying, " Lets go shopping!"

Despite his groans and protests, Kaldur gladly goes with his mother to shop around for his upcoming move.

It felt good to be home.

 


End file.
